


From fire, sparks and ashes

by allhailthefirehawk



Category: Borderlands
Genre: (I'm not succeeding), Awkward Conversations, Banter, Cuddling, Exes, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Lily's an Eridium hoe, Making Out, Mordecai is a wingman, Spoilers for Borderlands 2, awkward silence, bad flirting skills, get it because of Bloodwing, if they're not fighting, nevermind, pre-bunker, these two are killing me, trying to cope my feels for this ship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-07-15 07:45:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7213813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allhailthefirehawk/pseuds/allhailthefirehawk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Playing with fire might get you burned. And wood already touched by fire is not hard to set alight.<br/>After Lilith's hideout is overrun by the Bloodshots and Roland is rescued by the new Vault Hunters, they return to Sanctuary - a mighty goddess and the leader of a planet's resistance, and their power ends just with each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1: Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LieutenantLoot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LieutenantLoot/gifts).



> This ship had me deep since playing the first game. For LieutenantLoot, who went through our very first soldiers/sirens hell along with me, and because she suffers at least as much as Roland getting spammed with parts and parts of this mess.  
> ♥
> 
> I wrote the Prologue before beginning Borderlands 2 (some time ago, as my first snippet of fanfiction since years, so it turned out quite odd), and quickly this little fic evolved around it while I'm squealing over these idiots here. We all know how it turns out anyway, so we can at least enjoy it a little.  
> 

A loud Boom cut through the air. Shells dropped with a soft clangor to the ground, a steady sound coming from every corner, every hiding, in combination with the occasional click of the magazines latching back into place. It rained bullets and their noise drained the sound of everything else and left a lingering roar of dull silence inside one’s ear.

Roland’s back thudded against what was just a fraction of a low barricade. He let out a low grunt, barely lingering down fast enough for a bullet darting right over his head. “F…uuck…”, he murmured and ripped the magazine out of his rifle. 

His sight turned bright and red as simultaneously with an expliosion, he felt a thud right beside him, too fast for him to turn his head in the right direction in time. 

“I thought no swearing on the battle field.”, said a sarcastic voice which was predominated soon after with the screams of a few bandits backing away from the wall of fire the explosion hat caused.

“Even I make exeptions…”, Roland shot back and pushed himself up from the ground into a crouch. “Getting’ pretty dicey here…”, he shouted at the readhead as he took down some stray bandits that were left. They seemed to move up like an endless stream, but Lilith’s explosion had cleared out a few front rows of the enemies rolling towards them. He assured their cover with glances around them and let himself fall back onto the ground while a troup of their fighters passed them, digging deeper into the chaos that had once been the outskirts of their hideout.

“They’ve never come this far, Sancutary is torn apart… Our men fight braver than they ever did, but our rows are weakened with every moment…” He ripped out another magazine, slamming a new one violently in its place.  
Lilith nodded, staring at a bomb shell rolling over the ground, or nothing really in particular. She had noticed his distress with a growing concern.

It all began in the early morning, when the sky had turned grey in perspective of another cold sunrise in the tundra of Pandora. Sancutary laid at peace, windows reflecting the weak beams of light that the clouds were barely allowing to pass through. A lot had happened and changed since they opened the Vault, beginning with the cold winters of the area they were currently setteled. Ways had partened. They never heared from Mordecai or Brick anymore, assuming they were onto new adventures, maybe even on another planets. But Roland and Lilith had hesitated to part as they discovered something different between their loyalty and trust for the other partner that had built up in their countless fights and adventures. And hardly after exploring what lingered in their minds for so long, they were struck with a new enemy: Hyperion. Pandora had become a target for the adventurous and greedy, making it an even more dangerous place at is previously was.

It wasn’t long until the two realized the plans of Hyperions president and Roland had created what was now the strongest movement of rebellion against the reign of Hyperion that there was. As it grew bigger and stronger, Hyperion began to realize the danger of such an obstacle to their plans. And that all came down to the day as new Vault Hunters seemed to mess up the whole thing even more. The president was taking action now, and although the movement was in its heyday, it all changed in what seemed like an instant.

“Pull yourself together”, Lilith’s voice startled the soldier out of his thoughts. “There’s no time for reminiscing since they cut us off the New-U system – at least they were kind enough to tell us… Although it’s fair to say we haven’t used it in months”. Roland glanced at her profile from aside, as she was murmuring the last words merely to herself. They had indeed grown stronger since their victory over the Vault’s guardian, but the stronger Roland kept the faith in her, himself and basically everything – the more destructive could be the hopelessness that settled in his stomach now.

“I still… I feel weird about all of that since this morning. It’s…it’s different.” he said and let his gaze wander over the blood soaked patches of his battle suit.

“Shut up, Medi” She looked at him now. “These dirty bags of skagpiss will get the shock of their life when I’m ready with them. They better packed their rubber gloves if they want to lay a hand on me”, she warbled. 

“I’m not talking about this New-U-thing. It’s not just that. Something is boiling under the surface and I can’t make out what it is. I see our fighters die all around the town. Their troops – they take out the movement like a pleague, overnight.”

“You- you’re not thinking about giving in, are you?” Lilith stared him dead in the eyes, hands laying in her lap. Her urge to dive back into the battle field seemed perished. “You’re not turning yourself in, not on my watch. This is what they want. Come on and try to call the rebels back, they’ll flick you off and crack the next box of ammo they can find. They’d rather die out there than capitulating, you know that. You know them.”

“It’s the same with either way, I know that. Hyperion won’t offer them a caribic vacation after they fought against their values.” He spat out the last word like a curse. “If they want to give their life for the rebellion, I cannot restrain them. I did my best to lead this movement the right way, but I’m not sure what that means anymore.”

“If you’re turning yourself in that’s sealing the death of you. And me. And everyone.”, Lilith leaned closer and the sarcasm was wiped out of her sight. There was something Roland barely got to see, and when he did, he felt something clench his heart.

“That is not my intention. And there is only one of those three that I can save.”

“Roland what are y-“

“It was easy in the past. You know? I was rebellious, all I wanted was to shove up the shit they taught you in the military the crimson’s asses. But now I am not fighting for myself anymore.” He reached out and took her hand, noticing her slightly shaking. “And if that’s the only thing I can d-“

“Oh shut your fucking mouth”, she shouted with gritted teeth. The corners of her eyes shimmered wet and against his expectations, she was not backing away but clutching his hand. "Could you stop being so fucking selfless for one fucking second. I’m the last person who’s gonna seek shelter somewhere while this planet is going down. I’d take every fuck-ass daredevil who thinks he can take over this town by myself if I have to. I’d-“ 

“No swearing on the battle field.”, Roland smiled but she cut him shot.

“Listen the fuck up, Roland. I’d rip my fucking guts out if it was for you, you hear me? Rip them out and shove them into Jack’s ugly face. I’m a rebel, Roland. I’m one of the movement and I’m as hard to stop as every fucking one of us combined.”

“It’s true that I can’t stop anyone to go under for the movement. The fighters are doing this for their dreams, family, for their vision of the future. I can’t ask them to stop. But I can-“

“shut the fuck up!-“

“-ask you to do it for me. I would not be able to live with putting you in danger – just for me. I am the most wanted man on Pandora, and you’re not helping yourself with staying at my side. They will hunt you down too.” Her grip on his hand began to ache slightly. She was not even trying to stop the tears from running down her face now. 

“I’m your partner!”, she cried out. “I’m your fucking partner, you big dumbass-“ She clenched the fist of her other arm and began to beat his shoulder with every word, but Roland ignored that.

“I just want you to be save.”, he said quietly, brushing over the back of her hand.

“I hate you!”, Lilith whined now. “I’m not fucking leaving! I hate you…fuck…”

“You don’t. And that’s why … it’s time.” As well as he held his composure, his voice was slightly crackling now too. He could barely finish he sentence as a horn blared outside the town walls, followed by the roar of what sounded like a thousand engines.

“Fuck…”, she hissed again and leaned forward, letting her hair cover her face. “Asshole…”

“I love you too.” The corners of his lips curled upwards into the gentle smile he was used to give her in situations of stress. Well, stress was not quite the right word for what was happening now, he thought to himself and a soft ‘cling’ caught his attention. They both crouched down, their free arm covering their heads as the detonation made the ground shake.

“We don’t have much time if you want to make your way out of here unseen.”, he shouted over the noise of hundrets of voices cheering and chanting outside and they resembled the cries of wild animals that spotted their prey. “There is an ice canyon in the south from here. The way there is difficult to defeat, but that’s what you want. Hide there, be safe.”

“Don’t tell me what to do! I’m not gonna sit around in a hide out while you are being attacked here!”, Lilith retorted but quickly lost her little revolt over the shouts and cries of the bandits outside. Her eyes widened at the sound of it. “I mean what about you? They’re gonna tear you apart-“

“Go!!”, he shouted over the bullets raining all around them, not longer holding onto his pokerface. Despair was absorbing his expression. “Leave, now!! Listen to me one goddamn time!!”

As she opened her mouth to oppugn, he quickly pressed his lips on hers, locking her into an embrace, only for a moment before pushing her away from him. “Now go.”

She stepped back, catching a deep breath. The matter around her was concentrating and he let her hand slide out of his grip. “Fucking call me at least”, she muttered as her body began to dissolve into the phase. “I’m not into long distance relationships.”

“You bet.”, Roland mumbled. 

And with that, she was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The calm before the storm.

How naive it had been to assume the opening of the Vault would be the climax of their journey on Pandora, the only purpose this doomed planet seemed to have. That phasewalking were the only abilities her siren powers provided her with. And that this whole relationship thing couldn’t be that hard.

About every single one of those three issues, Lilith couldn’t have been any more wrong.

Her vision of the future was unchanged most of their time hunting the Vault. The siren never made any big demands, or had high expectations of what came after the uncovering of Pandora’s - scratch that, the universes biggest secret. She had even been bonding with the other Vault Hunters that just happened to be in the right place in the right time; Lilith had always considered herself as a rather antisocial nature, but those three taught her otherwise.

Now, she even felt more comfortable opening up to a damn pet bird than to anyone else she had crossed ways with before her arrival on Pandora. She had found what she had searched for, and that was a thrilling adventure, challenging her beyond her limits over and over just right. She had grown familiar with her siren powers until she was able to use them as the devastating one-woman-army she had become during combat. And withal, she had encountered one more thing she didn’t even knew she was searching for from the beginning, emerging in the form of a fond, caring ex-soldier with a heart so kind she sometimes wondered how he made it so far; and when he threw himself in front of his teammates in combat, showing off ranges of his capabilities none of them had ever seen before, that annihilated every threat down to the last enemy, she remembered.

First, it were his incredible skills on the battlefield that fascinated her, that got her talking to Roland on her own. They all needed some time to get warm with each other, since every one of them was more of the lone wolf type, probably one of the required character treats you needed to be crazy enough to travel to Pandora in the first place. The siren soon found out that, although she learned to appreciate Mordecai and Brick just as much, the soldier was making her feel the most comfortable when they sat around the campfire at night, bragging about their loot and achievements of the day or planning their next mission.

Advancing further in their main objective, their little team split up sometimes, and Roland and her just so happened to take certain missions together, only the both of them. There was a long time of awkwardness and uncertainty on both sides as they didn’t have that much experience with interpersonal relationships; that seemed to be a secondary thing on Pandora anyways; but somewhere down the road at a late point at their Vault Hunter career they pulled themselves together. Lilith wasn’t really able to point out the exact moment after all these years, after all, their connection had always been slightly more than just a good teammate ship and later, just good friends – but moving in to a small flat in New Haven must mean it was pretty serious. She didn’t care, either; all she needed was there, right in front of her, always giving her a smile, always ready to take her back into his arms, no matter how tedious a day had been for both of them.

After discovering the truth about the Vault, it was clear soon that there was something bigger lurking beneath the surface. It only took a little while until it revealed its face – literally; Handsome Jacks stapled face was spread quickly almost everywhere on that desert of a planet, and the further Hyperion took over, the clearer became their true intentions even to the last mind-crippled psycho, considering even Brick got the hint.

From there, it all went a little too fast for Lilith’s liking. She didn’t know if it was because they felt responsible starting all of this with their discovery of the Vault, or if (that was unlikelier) they had developed a conscience after all those months on that condemned planet – but just weeks later, Roland had built up a planet-wide resistance against a corporation to whom a planet like Pandora must just be another grain of sand in the desert, if it weren’t for the Vault.

How naïve she was for believing their relationship would remain over years and missions, enemies and confrontations. They were without doubt the strongest and most well-known power couple on Pandora; and the most problematic one.

She couldn’t even point out where it all went wrong. It must have happened somewhere around Roland’s decision to send her away, for her own good as he liked to call it, and her own stubbornness. It soon was clear that they could no longer go on like that. Conquering hostile attacks and taking mission at day, fighting over the Echo net at night; and that Lilith froze her ass off in that ice canyon he sent her to wasn’t making it any better. She remembered that dull feeling in the pit of her stomach on that particular night, when she ended the call with the words “It’s better that way.”, and he just agreed. After that, they rarely met or spoke since they were busy a) leading a resistance and b) embodying a disastrous goddess. Lilith’s routine had become so dreary she sometimes considered making some of the rumors that spread around her true, just to create some variety. Needless to say Edirium was a welcomed way of variety at that point.

However, it did not let any fraction of the truth shine any brighter than it was. She had to resist the urge to throw up of frustration when she heard about Roland’s kidnap; she’d always called that that dork couldn’t be careful enough forever. At least, he was such an important target to Hyperion that they wouldn’t want him dead; a fact that shouldn’t make Lilith as relieved as she was. Those days remained in her memory as a sallow blur, a gloom of holding up against the canyon’s intruders, answering echos from Sanctuary, and planning, planning, planning. Who are you calling when the resistance’s leader vanishes from the face of the earth? Right – his ex-girlfriend.

Soon, her canyon wasn’t the safe hideout Roland had it intended to be at all anymore; it was remarkable that every front was indurating, from the bandits to Hyperion’s robot military; the more surprised the siren was to hear about the new Vault Hunters, the cause of all the riot, all over the Echo net, hardly believing the rumors about those newcomers who were said tos survive an encounter with Handsome goddamn Jack himself – until they showed up in her canyon. A colourful bunch of weirdos that reminded her a little too much of their early days years ago, just about the time they stole the Vault key from Sledge.

Long story short, she was having her ass saved by nothing less than a mid-thirties probably midlife-crisis experiencing ex-commando, judging from the comments he cracked every few seconds; a young, tenacious siren who more or less had that previous guy under control; a macabre dwarf with a slurred Mexican accent Lilith did not mind to remain aloof with and a weird, caulking alien-guy with a katana the siren did not even wonder about anymore at that point. Followed by an underage engineering genius that could probably kill you by the snap of her goddamn robotic arm and – a real psycho (enough said here).

Not the turn out of the story she had in mind.

***

Home, sweet home. The absence of cold winds and breezes alone had been enough for the siren wanting to kiss the ground as soon as she arrived at Sanctuary’s Travel Station. Familiar sounds, the calm murmur of passers-by, the crooked houses and streets she was strolling along as she was making her way towards the headquarters – she couldn’t recall a single minute in the past months where she wasn’t watching, ready to be alerted at any day- and nighttime. She had to be because of the intruders in her canyon; and so she also was for the Echo system in case of new strategies, Crimson Raiders in need, or just any news that brightened up her dull days in that icy desert.

Although nothing had been like it was before after opening the vault, and Lilith had been pleasantly accepting the changes that the usage of Eridium brought with it, she had still felt a little odd having the new vault hunters in front of her, those vicious daredevils everyone talked about on every echo channel since their arrival on Pandora. She couldn’t say she was expecting what she got to see in the end, but she wasn’t surprised either. They were all youngsters, lone wolfs like the siren and her three teammates had been before they met in that dusty old bus five years ago, and they seemed to make a team so balanced and harmonious in that uncanny way you could only speak of when looking at the destruction they left behind, Lilith only knew from their old days.

Old days, huh. 

There always had always been that decision in the air, the possibility to just leave it all behind, moving on to new missions and adventures as the mercenaries they all held themselves for back then, just like all of them had it in mind when they got onto that shady bus; but as they stood in front of the dead destroyer, the open vault which’s rumors spread across planets and galaxies, an unspoken truth came over all of them, a feeling merely – that from now on, they played a role more important than in their keenest dreams.

How could she have been so wrong, expecting the whole thing to blow over like some big, wild adventure descending in glory and wealth when she sat on that uncomfortable rattling bus-bench. When they joined paths at Fyrestone after their first encounter with the best of everyday’s chaos Pandora offered them right away. When she was thrilled over that feeling she never had before when she and Roland shared their first kiss under the stars, their bodies embracing tightly somewhere in the open wastelands of the arid badlands, clandestine intimacies cramped between their missions that had become a pleasant routine at some point on their journey.

She thought the place she would be able to call her home after all these years was their place in New Haven when it was all over. Though the siren had never expected herself to be the sedentary type, it had all seemed right when they stepped hand-in-hand into that small, dusty apartment, when she had turned her head to the soldier beside her whose expression was forming into a profound smile; it had all seemed right when they ditched the unpacking at some point, giving free rein to their desire for one another right there between the boxes.

And, although she never admitted that one truly to herself, she thought she was able to call it home when she was curled up in Roland’s arms and he laid his chin on the top of her head, his chest slightly rising with every breath, or those smiles he shot at her, mostly when glancing at her from the side from whatever he was doing, calmly admiring.

Who would have thought their actions, the opening of the Vault, chasing an then unseizable dream when they stepped out that bus door and onto the dusty ground of a Planet they would soon call their destiny. And how one could err.

 

Lilith found the headquarters like she left them behind – cramped, unable to tell apart the rubbish from gear and weapons all over the place, and somewhat haimish. Someone had left Tannis in charge of the first floor, the siren found out to her disfavor judging from the research equipment and containers and tanks of all sorts of things she preferred not to take further looks at. That broad had been making herself at home even more after Lilith had left, apparently, but the siren had caught herself missing even the weird monologues and nagging that came from downstairs even at the calmest times in the headquarters when she was bound to that icy hell; although she was sure that such sign of loneliness would volatilize as soon as she saw that crazy face again. Tannis’ calls on the Echo asking for samples of a Goliath’s frontal lobe or a spiderant’s spermatozoa “since Lilith already was at Frostburn Canyon” were usually enough to do so.

Reaching the top of the stairs, a familiar odor crawled up her nose. She shook it off like something physical and entered the bedrooms, finding foreign belongings stuffed on and under the beds, some of it even between the duckboards and mattresses. There was an odd amount of tools sprawled over the floor along with parts of what Lilith reasoned to pertain to that bloke with that slicked back hair and his turret or the insane teen and her death robot. Loot was there, along with an unusual amount of books for people around this planet; the siren let her gaze wander over the stuff when the image of that little group appeared in front of her mind’s eye. Those bantams who probably laid the same hope into Sanctuary they had all laid into New Haven years ago.

She casted a glance at the room with the balcony they used to draft their strategies, finding the holographic table packed with empty mugs of coffee; Lilith didn’t remember the soldier’s addiction to that brew that tasted more of dishwater mixed with caffeine to be that bad before she left. Other than herself, the headquarters were completely deserted, situation given. The disappearance of Roland apparently had stirred every soul in Sanctuary, even the new vault hunters, and if it weren’t for the aftermath of her final fight at the canyon Lilith would have joined them right away; for the rebellion’s sake of course. Those past few days in uncertainty over his status were gnawing worse at her than any Eridium detox. She surely hadn’t imagined her return to Sanctuary being enabled by circumstances like that, stepping in to replace her hijacked ex-boyfriend in his position as leader of a rebellion most wanted, but there she was now, crossing the bedroom again and approaching the door at the other side of the hallway. They could only count themselves lucky that just at that time, the vault hunters turned out to be on their side, she thought as her headache rendered himself unpleasantly noticeable again. The siren didn’t like to imagine what another wave of intruders without their help would have done to her.

With a slight press against the door handle, the door swung open slowly. The hallway’s light crawled into the room, Lilith’s shadow casting inside. She stepped inside, just far enough to push the door closed behind her. The room was pitched black if it weren’t for the faint light that gleamed from the gap under door. The siren lead her weary steps around the broad bed, fingers brushing over the neatly folded sheets. That peculiar feeling lingering over her since she stepped over the headquarters’ doorsill coiled in her stomach now, mixed with the aches that ran through her body the longer she kept herself afoot. Tiredness dragged at her every nerve when she settled onto the edge of the bed, and she felt a rough fabric brush her cheek as she curled herself up on the blankets. Despite the dark she didn’t need a glance to tell what it was; he always put it folded neatly on top of the sheets. His odor was all around her now, and the siren closed her eyes, clutching the sleeping shirt.

Maybe saving the world could wait for the night.


	3. Chapter 3

Fleeing from the crimson lances submerging as a mercenary and open the Vault? Check. Speaking to thousands from a balcony declaring the ideals of their rebellion? Check. Being captivated by his deadly enemy who at the same time was the universe’s most powerful corporation? Check.

Reunion with his ex-girlfriend after months of silence? …Not so much.

The new Vault Hunters had been a good distraction on their way back to Sanctuary; as they materialized at the Travel Station though, the Roland could feel his pulse pound in his chest. It would be a slight exaggeration to say he wasn’t that nervous all day, despite the ‘damn fine rescue’ the Vault Hunters had taken on themselves to get him back to Sanctuary safely. But once the pressure was gone and he was on the safe side again, his mind began to concentrate what the circumstances had been masking out until now. And that was figuring out how the heck he was able to speak in front of a whole town, a whole nation even, but not in front of a single woman.

 

By all means, he had some time to think while he was locked up in that cell. Most of the time, he tried to figure out how to get out of there, of course, but sometimes, his train of thought slipped through the scenario, until the point where he stood at the headquarters, and the reunion.

And although he had been imagining all worst cases, he certainly didn't imagine it like that.

The first couple of words they exchanged made him wish for the ground to swallow him up, at some point even wishing himself back into that cell which thought he ditched quickly again, but it wasn't any worse either.

After Roland thanked them imploringly, the new Vault Hunters were gone, and the headquarters fell oddly quiet. He stayed on the ground level for so long even Tannis noticed something was wrong about him and sent him back upstairs, annoyed by his nervous behavior. He couldn't remember a time where he wished for a distraction so bad - just why had he sent Brick out into the desert anyway? He was always the one that enlightened a conversation, and he would be grateful for just any of his senseless comments by now – but no, he was a grown-ass man, leader of a rebellion, outbreaker of an old empire's military, and opposer of a new empire's. He took a breath as he reached the last step, and as he walked around the corner, there she was.

His gaze traced her slim figure as she stood upright in front of the holographic table, weight shifted onto one leg, feet widely apart, arms crossed over her chest. She was not fully facing him, though she turned her head in the door's direction as she heard him approach. The first thing that caught his attention was her ripped up attire, a part of her thigh exposed through a rip in her pants. Her frazzled jacket rested around her hips she was swaying now as she turned around to him fully. There had always been something about the siren, something powerful, almost daunting about her aura, and Roland couldn't help but notice that the Eridium was only strengthen that. 

She pushed one of her fiery red strands away from her eyes, lips curled up into an amused smile.

“Welcome back, big one”, she taunted, the familiar tone of irony lingering in her voice as if she was waiting for something to hurl it at.

No, he definitely was everything but a grown-ass man.

“Hi.”, he said awkwardly, entering the room.

“What's up?”, Lilith said, already turning away from him again and returning to her place at the table.

“Just wanted to see if you needed anything”, the soldier replied, lifting one hand to his head, reaching for the visor of his cap to adjust it like he used to back in the days. He remembered that he wore the bonnet now as his fingers grasped just air; he proceeded scratching his neck instead. Lilith's eyes pierced him for a few awfully long seconds before returning to the surface of the table.

“I'm good, thanks. Few days earlier I would have asked for a jacket, but the temperature here is fine now.”, she added with a smile being more of a scoff.

Roland took a deep breath. “That's nice to hear. If you still need anything, you know where to find me.”

“Sure, will do. Now go and do your super important work. See you later.”, she chirped. Her hands brushed over the tabletop, probably going through the map.

As soon as the soldier had left the room and she heard the door falling close in the hallway, she let herself sag forward, elbows propped up on the surface. 

“Shit... real smooth, Lilith”, she murmured to herself, running both of her hands through her hair with a frustrated grunt. “Why not right away ask him if he wants to dump you a second time.”

That all couldn't be that difficult, right?

Oh, how wrong she had been.

 

***

It wasn’t until early evening until Roland came out the room. The headquarters had regained its usual brisk business that seemed to have kept the siren busy enough throughout the day to save him from witty comments or other side blows when he sneaked out of the office for a quick cup of coffee, or ten. The soldier didn’t mind a lot of work, regarding its meaning after all, and today he was truly thankful for the load of documents and maps that had waited on his desk; war didn’t halt for personal issues.

The paperwork was eventually done, outlined maps and strategic notes cluttered all over the table, and Roland allowed himself to lean back in his chair for the first time this day, taking another sip of coffee with a sigh. He stared at the documents in front of him but didn’t really catch any of it, remaining settled in his chair. There was obviously no point in staying inside the small, cramped room now, holding onto his cold cup of coffee like that; the soldier knew that. Regarding the circumstances, it just sounded appealing in opposite to what awaited him outside.

Screw that, this was his own damn house. Roland pushed himself on his feet, locking eyes with the door determinedly. He could do whatever the heck he wanted. Reaching for the door handle, the soldier put on a smile confident of victory – grabbing thin air, that same smile froze in his face. The door had opened, and a pair of cool eyes eyed him up with sharp, arched eyebrows.

“Oh, you’re already done?” The rhetorical question wavered between them like a wit. “You stayed in there for so long I assumed you passed out, so I got that”

Lilith wagged with the cup she was holding, its content slopping slightly. It was coffee, black.

“Uhm.”, Roland uttered, staring at the pot. “Thank you.”

“Looks like you fended for yourself just fine though”, she added with a glance at the numerous cups around his desk, darting eyes flickering back to him as she continued. “I left everything I got done today on the table, so feel free to have a fling.”

Roland glanced towards the table where a few folded maps were piled up. Judging from the frequent calls they received on the echo today, the siren had really relieved him of a load.

“That wasn’t necessary”, he started, though closed his mouth again when he turned back to her glare.

“Oh, wasn’t it? I’ll find something else to dabble in then. At least there’s a shit ton to choose from”, Lilith averred, turning around with swaying hips.

The soldier frowned in his spot, hovering on the doorstep, and took a breath. “Lilith- hey, wait.”

“I’m exhausted, Roland. Let’s settle that for today.”

“That’s what I mean. You just got out of a battle worth for ten of us, you’re not supposed to strain yourself like this now.”

“I’m here, aren’t I.”, Lilith countered with a tilt of her head, letting fire red strands churn. A proficient watcher had been able make out slight dark circles under her eyes, blemishes on her otherwise spotless, fair skin this morning, when he had encountered her in the headquarters after their distance for so long, finding her leaning against the holographic table like no time had passed. As for now, the circles were gone, and the siren seemed to gleam with the aura that had taken Roland aback since he visited her in Frostburn Canyon. The soldier couldn’t prevent his focus to slip, wandering along her figure as she folded her arms over her chest, hip cocked to the side impishly. As his gaze darted back to her eyes, the shiver that went down his spine at her cold expression tore him out of his thoughts. “Plus I provided us with an excellent example where not to site a hide-out next time we want to shirk someone off.”

Roland’s frown grew wider, leaving his forehead in deep furrows. “The hide-outs position wasn’t the point. It was a well-located spot, far from any fuzz. But when interest emerges, the Bloodshots would have found it sooner or later, and we knew that all along.” He looked her over while speaking, watching her expression change into a bitter smile. “It was my plan, and I barely go astray with my calculations.”

“Thanks for enlightening me.” Her words dripped of sarcasm. “Didn’t save me any trouble though.”

“Your discovery on the Eridium didn’t really help keeping the spot hidden either, if you’re searching for something blameworthy”, the soldier remarked, eyeing her posture. The siren jerked around, glaring at him coldly.  
“How else do you think I stayed the course back there?”, she hissed. “Certainly not with your keen tips every now and then, ‘Just stay inside and wait it out’, ‘Lilith, you shouldn’t reveal them your powers, try to fight with conventional arming’, ‘Lilith, don’t hang any more of those corpses, that’s only enlivening the cult’ Remind me to show myself undyingly thankful for that.”

Roland watched her calmly. His teeth were gritted beneath that screen; she wasn’t any more wrong than he was. But at the same time, neither he nor she brought themselves to admit that.

The siren returned his stare, though took a deep breath as he kept quiet after she finished.

“It felt like I was trapped there with no improvement in sight. You should have good experience with how that’s like.”

“I do.”, the soldier replied. “It’s not comparable, but I get the spirit.”

She averted her eyes, fiddling with one of her gloves.

“I think you should go now.”, Roland said quietly.

Lilith nodded with a bittersweet smile. “I was going to before you asked me to wait. So, are we done now, or…?”

The soldier lifted a hand to his bonnet, adjusting it to no avail. “You’re free to go.” Already turning around, his look flickered to the door of his office, of the bedroom they shared not long ago. “Uhm, do you have a place to stay?”, he added.

“I’ll figure something out, as I’m used to sleep out in the cold.”, she said, her hand brushing along the wall lazily as she reached the edge of the stairs.

Roland let out a silent sigh. “At least take one of the sofas around here-“

“I can take care of myself just fine.” Her eyes lingered on him for a while before she reached for the handrail.

“Hey, Lil.” As she turned around again, they locked eyes, Roland shooting her an earnest look before she could avert again. He paused before speaking out his next words. “Let’s start over.”

The siren pressed out a huff, making it sound like scoffing laughter. “I’ll see what I can do for ya.”

The tone in her voice told him otherwise. She gestured a wave in his direction, merely a lazy lift of her hand, blue marks shimmering in the dim light of the corridor. Red lips were curled up in a smile that looked nowhere near genuine. “Good night, Roland.”

He nodded quietly, watching her figure vanish at the end of the hallway. He drew back, feeling for the handle behind his back. He pushed the door open with his shoulder, and sunk against it when it closed. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he let out a drawn-out groan. As he opened his eyes again, his gaze flickered to the brimful cup of coffee sitting on his table.

Black, no sugar, no milk.

The sweetest temptations were always the bitterest.


	4. Chapter 4

The new Vault hunters returned from their mission on early noon. Judging from their appearance, they must have been working on the mission throughout the night. The young siren was practically dozing off on the ex-commando’s shoulder who tried desperately to keep an eye open as they waited in the planning room, and the psycho carried the sleeping teen girl around like a mother her infant. Roland gave them an approving nod as he entered the room, lowering his pace as he passed Lilith who had already been talking to them. Maybe he was mistaken, but she looked just as tired as they did.

After delivering the last instructions, they strolled out of the room slowly, leaving the headquarters for their next mission, and Roland's attention turned to the cluttered table.

„Good talking back there.“

He turned around at the chime of her voice, finding the siren leaning to the door frame. “Thanks?”, he said, eyeing her carefully.

“You really have a lock on them already. Hard to believe you all met just yesterday.” She pushed herself off the frame, strolling into the room slowly. “You’re known for your leadership abilities after all, right back at it only hours after a hijack…”

“Well, the rebellion doesn’t manage itself”, Roland wavered, watching her saunter around the table, drawing patterns on its surface with one of her fingers.

“I noticed that working my ass off until you returned”, she said, shooting him a glance.

Roland let out a silent breath. “And you really saved everyone else’s ass doing so.”

Lilith nodded. “So that’s about my turn to give you the talk now.”

The soldier rose his head from the documents he was shoving around on his table, frowning.

“I mean I get it and all, this is not a job. It’s basically our- your life by now, and you came so far already. Throwbacks like this one could easily cost us more than some wasted time.” She drew back from the table’s surface, folding her arms across her chest, facing him fully now. “But working until exhaustion won’t make it any better, either. You saw what it does to you in the worst case. The rebellion- you can’t afford another lapse like that…”

“I sure couldn’t from the beginning”, the soldier replied. “But the situation can escalate any moment if we’re not prepared. We need to act fast now.”

Lilith let out a low groan under her breath, almost unable for Roland to hear. “All that fast acting isn’t of any use anyway when shit like this happens. And I’m sure they won’t just lock you up somewhere next time.”

“There will be no next time”, Roland said firmly. “The whole thing isn’t music in my ears either, but we have no other choice. I know how risky this is for all of us, every single one of our allies, fighting along our side” He reached out for his bonnet, adjusting it absent-minded. “But I am willing to take a risk if it’s the lives of millions and thousands of people at stake.”

“For god’s sake, think of yourself for a second for once!” She stared at him from her spot at the table, knuckles white from clenching her fists. For the glimpse of a second, she opened her mouth, closed it again as if she was dismissing a thought. “The rebellion’s nothing without you. I can keep it going for a week or two but that’s the end of the song, and I doubt Brick and Mordy will be any more help with that, after all that time.” She unfolded her arms, letting them drop besides her helplessly. “We’re nothing without you.”

The soldier paused, trailing her expression, a sight so rare these days, he had almost forgot that beneath all of that power and sass there was still a concern, the Lilith he got to know late at the campfires back in their early days, who had clung to him in the darkest nights when the others were gone to sleep, the Lilith that had begged him to stay with her before all of this started.

Back then, he was certain that she knew how much he had wanted to say yes. These days he wasn’t even sure if there was anything left of that, if it weren’t for the glimpse of desperation that flickered over her face. As he shook his head, she let her shoulders drop, cold eyes averting as if a hunter lost interest in its prey.

“I’m sorry,”, he said quietly, “but time is running out.”

***

 

Old times.

That was what inevitably came to Lilith’s mind when they encountered the new Vault hunters. A colorful bunch, and despite their strong characteristics in some way lovely people. And calling someone that on Pandora doesn’t happen too often.  
Most of the time, the ex-commando claimed the word, apparently the planning head of their group. Although most of his speeches consisted of mocking comments towards the others, their dynamics seemed to work, and they worked well. Neither Roland nor she had experienced fighters that committed to help them and the rebellion; maybe that was due to the little connection they had through their common profession, hunting the Vault. At least Lilith told herself that it was that what her attention, and from time to time she would watch them quietly from her spot in the corner of the room while the others did the talking.

There was one member of the group the commando seemed to like mocking the most; he and the young siren carried their little disputes often until upstairs into the headquarters. There was a tension between them the others brushed off as rivalries and joking, but Lilith knew exactly where this would be leading. The looks he gave her from time to time, when he was sure nobody was watching, his trademark smirk trailing off in thoughts, were pretty self-explanatory. And those looks were returned by the young siren quietly, faint smile tugging on her usual pursed lips. Listening to new objectives and tasks, they were sometimes fiddling with the other’s sleeve, leaning on each other’s shoulder, exchanging glances here and there. Little gestures, maybe not even always on purpose, and Lilith knew the feeling those awakened in one’s stomach, or the glooming of one’s cheeks if you were caught doing so. A siren and an ex-soldier, and their future still in front of them; Lilith just hoped it went different this time.  
And sometimes, if her composure slipped away fully, the older siren’s gaze wandered to the other soldier in the room, trailing along his figure when he was talking with his hands too much, tracing his expression when he listened to the others with a deep frown. The feeling she knew so well had left months ago, and was replaced by something she couldn’t quite lay her finger on; and all she knew was that it made her avert her eyes at some point, waiting for the ache to go away.  

Today’s meeting didn’t leave her alone with her thoughts too much; the new Vault hunters were so well at their jobs that they managed to bring Mordecai within a day after they accepted their mission. His return to the headquarters was without doubt not only the joy over an old friend, but also a welcome change for both of the other Vault veterans. Roland and he were lying in each other’s arms for a solid minute, and he greeted the siren with ruffling her hair like they had last seen just yesterday, of course earning the obligatory kick in one of his frail shins for that. The drinks they had later at the bar were even enough to make Lilith push aside the fact that not only two old teammates but one of them being her Ex-boyfriend were sitting across the table and they exchanged stories agitatedly, laughing, joking. Old times, huh.

“So, how’s the plan, Roland? You pulled somethin’ out that mastermind of yours, amigo? Feels so good to be back in the squad”, Mordecai slurred, glassing him with his cup.

“I set the new team out on the train, it’s only a matter of days now until we can make the next step. If we want to break through Hyperion’s barriers, we need to make sure to provide Sanctuary with a good shield while we’re away.”

“Hijackin’ a train, huh. Always liked that lil’ dash of risk in those plans”, Mordecai grinned. “Hearin’ that from someone other than you wouldn’t have made me show up, but you know what you’re doing.”

Roland rolled his eyes with a smile. “I hope so.”  
“And Lily!”, Mordecai chirped, pointing at her with his glass now. “I caught on some news after the collapse of your hide-out, people were goin’ nuts about the Firehawk for months after all. Should’ve known it could be none other than you hellish girl! Is it true that they frickin’ worshipped you?”

“They did, I guess.” The siren shrugged it off, grimacing helplessly. “Could have lived without that though, I mean, did you ever have somebody ask you to set them on fire on purpose?”

“Dios mio, nah, haven’t. Can call myself lucky me and Blood had some peace and quiet out there in the reservation. With great power comes a great price, huh!”

Lilith glanced to the soldier next to him. “Yeah”, she uttered.

“Wouldn’t be our Lily if she didn’t make it.”, he laughed, reaching over the table to ruffle her hair again; the siren slapped his hand away, shot him warm smile though, feeling Roland’s eyes lingering on her in the process.

“Is there some progress on the information I requested from you?”, the soldier chimed in, swirling the content of his own drink around in his glass.

“Always on the job, you’re a real workaholic. Somebody ever told ya that”, Mordecai sighed.

“Sits right in front of you.” Roland waved his glass in her direction before facing him again; Lilith raised an eyebrow complacently at that.

“Anyways, I brought my informant ties to bear after you returned, Roland, and came to the conclusion that it might be better if we have a second front approachin’ that train mission. Plus you could use some distance between you and Sanctuary now that you’re free on the foot again”

Lilith was the faster one to recognize that slight furrow on the soldiers forehead after those words. “Mordy and me will take good care of the resistance.”, she said, eyeing her glass instead of him. “Now that I recovered that shouldn’t be a problem, if you’ll let me stock up on my Eridium supply.”

“You take that stuff, dude?”, the hunter blurted out. “Devil’s stuff’s what that is, heard so many bad stories about it already.”

“Fits me, then.”, the siren noted quickly, cracking a smirk. “Great, so I’ll be back at noon tomorrow-“

“Sorry to cross your plans, Lilith, but you’re not any better off in Sanctuary either.” Roland’s tone was quiet, careful almost. As the siren turned to him slowly, he gave her a firm look.

“I’m officially dead to Hyperion after the run-over at Frostburn, I don’t see where that’s a problem again.”

“That is indeed a nice side-effect, but we shouldn’t take any greater risks than needed.”

They stared at each other for a moment, the siren searching for words, feeling her throat closing up. Just as some laid on her tongue; why he would send her away again after all this time; that she was old enough to decide that herself, or maybe just a loud ‘Fuck you’, the hunter interrupted, probably more for their own goods.

“Then you two can go back up the others together, just like old times!”, Mordecai asserted with a lift of his glass. Roland stared at him blankly.

“That’s not what I-“

“Oh come on, it will be fun! You two didn’t do any missions in, like, ages!”

The soldier and her exchanged a helpless look.

“Hey, what’s the matter, guys?”

“Well then”, Lilith said quickly, mouth working quicker than her brain this time. “Better than freezing my ass off completely alone, anyway.” With that, she pushed herself off the bench. “I need a load now. See you soon, Mordy.”, she said with a sweet smile, then turned around, gesturing an implied salute that rather looked like a grimace. “Roland.”

They watched her walk out of the bar, along with a few other customers who turned around to her as she passed them. Mordecai slowly leaned to Roland, nudging his forearm. “Is she allright?”

Roland couldn’t help but crack a bitter smile. “Perfectly fine. She’s just… not made for the cold.”

 

Roland had to admit that indeed, Three Horns Divide was incredibly cold. The snow had fallen on ankle-level overnight, and he couldn’t suppress a shiver as they made their way across a wide field, heading for their destination in the area’s glaciers near the train tracks; him gripping the steering wheel of their bandit technical firmly, concentrated on the path that laid in front of them while Lilith in the back had draped her feet across the machine gun's control panel, probably browsing something on the echo net.

 

They reached the foot of the glaciers as the sun soot at its highest point, throwing hard shades on the snow beneath them. The caves that led inside of the mountains blocked out the snowfall, though due to the lack of sunlight it was severely colder inside.   
They put up their camp in one of the bigger halls, and Roland spent a while fiddling with his sleeping bag just to have an occupation. Lilith, in the corner of his eye, had piled up a few branches and set them on fire with a snap of her fingers. She sat back against the cold ice of the wall now, watching the flame dance in thoughts. Her red hair stood out against the snow all around her, but her skin was as pale as the ice where it wasn't covered in cloth and blue marks. While Roland fumbled for the zip of his jacket against the cold around him, the sight of the siren in her usual attire made him freeze a little more every time, though one could make out slight goosebumps on her pale skin.

“Aren’t you cold?”, he asked lamely after a few minutes of debating whether it wouldn’t be better to let silence remain among them even though it slowly began to drive him mad; Lilith kept a straight face as she glanced behind her before replying.

“Kinda used to it now, as I mentioned”, she said; Roland didn’t have to have asked in order to predict that answer.

“I assumed.”, he replied, trailing off. “So, uh, I guess it’s a good thing you came along after all, you sure know this place well.”

“I had some time to engrain”, she said briefly; after that, they fell silent again, the only sound cutting through the clear cold being the slight cracking of the fire.

“You look like you’re freezing, though.”, she said after some time, having her knees pulled to her chest in the meantime, chin resting on them.

“I’m… I’m fine over here”, Roland replied awkwardly, realizing he was still clenching to his sleeping bag. He let it slip out of his fingers, going through a few annotations in his Echo system now.

“You're gonna need to warm up either way, if it's you sitting here at the fire or me setting igniting your ass, so make your move.”, he heard Lilith snarl behind him.

“...I'll pass”, he said with a chuckle, closed his interface and walked over to her. She scooted aside when he sat down, then went back to fiddle with one of her gloves. He glanced at her fixiating on the seam, shoulders hunched slightly, arms pressed to her slim frame in an attempt to keep herself warm. He cleared his throat silently before opening his mouth again. “Allright, Lil. ...Lilith. I think there's something we need to talk about.”

She dissembled her reaction to that, a short flickering of her gaze towards him as he called her by her nickname. “News to me”, she taunted, though raised an eyebrow at him, anticipating. “Took you long enough to realize.”

“Lilith, we can't have this conversation if you keep pulling that on me.”, the soldier replied calmly.

“Fine. Want me to be honest?” Without waiting for an answer, she let go of her glove, letting her hands drop into her lap as she stared him fully in the eyes. “I think you could tell I wasn't in the best mood after you shifted me off to this icy hell in the first place, but well, told myself, it's for a good point. Bloody resistance and all. But again?” She shook her head. “If it weren't for Mordecai you'd have done it right around another time. Why not directly call me off a second time?”

The soldier frowned deeply, taking a deep breath. “You know exactly that this wasn't my intention at any point. Yes, Hyperion believes you're out of the way, but an overrun Sanctuary would be bad to begin with, and we can't risk your discover in case of a disaster. This is a weapon that might come to good use-”

“That's what this is to you? Am I just some tool you can store in that damn canyon somewhere?”

“-No. All I ever wanted is you being safe. If something ever happened to you, I-”

“I'm a grown woman, Roland. I can keep an eye out on myself damn fine.”

“-I know. Shit, Lilith, I didn't mean it like that. Things have been...difficult between us, I know, but we can't go on like this.”

“Hell we can't, but you give me no choice.”, she retorted, eyes narrowing. 

He suppressed a groan, mouth faster than his mind as he spoke out his next words. “Should have brought some Eridium to have you welcome me a little more warmly, huh?” He regretted his words as they weren't even said fully; immediately, a piercing stare rested on him.

“Oh is it me trying to survive out in this cold hell now that bothers you, hm?”, she spat out. “Backing your ass up everyday, while you sit in your cozy room” She had her hands clenched to fists, knuckles white. “without a minute to answer my fucking calls.”

At the corner of his eye he saw the fire pulsate along with the tone of her voice, flames blazing up as she spat out her last words. The soldier felt a shiver run down his spine as he continued that quickly dissolved at the heat that coiled at the pit of his stomach as he tried to keep his composure.

“You could have called if you wanted to talk to me so bad, which didn't seem like it to me, really.”

“I called you down here three solid times, and didn't see you enjoy the stay”, she hissed. 

Roland sighed silently. “I think it is obvious why. I'm a busy man now, that's one of the tributes I have to pay for this resistance. That doesn't mean it wasn't any less important to me.”

“You should work on showing that, then.”, she said through gritted teeth, eyes averting. “I'm good at a lot of things in the meantime, but not at mind-reading.”

“Neither am I.”, he avouched.

Silence. Roland proceeded to rub a hand across his face, letting out a silent breath.

“Satisfied going over that again, now?”, the siren said bitterly.

He shook his head slowly, sagging forwards, leaning on his elbows. 

He wondered if he would ever be able to put a finger on the beginning of that all. That question had spun around in his mind for a long time, reciting conversations and fights, searching for an answer. By now, it didn't really matter to him anymore. All that there was was that galling heat in his stomach, the sting in his chest when her eyes met his. The pressure of thousand things he wanted to say, but at the same time gaping emptiness when he tried to grasp one. And all he knew for sure was that it would never be the same.

The soldier pushed himself on his feet, patting snow off his pants. “I'll go for some fresh air”, he said briefly, turning his back towards her and the fire. He could count the seconds until her voice chimed in again, and he closed his eyes, bracing for the next strike.

“When you're back, we... should discuss the plan for today. I could really use a load again, but I don't have much anymore. Must be still at the canyon, I couldn't grab a lot when they overran me. If those bastards didn't take it all away”

Bewildered, he turned around to her again to find her looking at him, the shadow of a grin on her lips.

“...And I could show you around since we're already there.”

He had to suppress another sigh, this time of relief. She may have been away for months, but some things just never changed; her own personal way of obliging. 

“Gotta check if I'm free. Very busy.”, he said, tapping himself on the chest. Lilith flipped him off, and a few minutes later, he stood outside of the cave, letting the cold sooth his mind. The heat in his stomach had stayed, but something had altered. He closed his eyes against the bright whiteness all around him.

Could really use some red.


	5. Chapter 5

“You really made this a cozy place.”, Roland said as they walked by the third impaled corpse, hanging down from the icy ceiling in the passage they were walking through.

“Well, didn't work as well as deterrence as I wanted it to”, the siren shrugged, beckoning him to go ahead as she hindered another trap from setting him on fire. “We're almost there though.”

“Thank god, I'm freezing”, the soldier muttered, rubbing at his forearms.

“Sorry to disappoint ya, but it's not any warmer in there. I could help you though...”, she coaxed, lifting her finger ready for a snap, and Roland waved with his hands.

“How kind of you, but I'm fine suddenly”, he hurried himself, earning a smirk from the siren.

“Thought so.”

Eventually, the icy corridor opened out into an ample hall; lights loomed in the distance, smooth surface reflecting the faint sun rays that broke in through the beam's gaps. As they reached the entrance, the vast steel structure towered over the ice streams like he had left it at his last visit. Riven awnings wafted despite the stagnant lack of wind, cluttered boxes here and there. Their steps echoed from the tall walls as they made their way up the stairs, onto the platform, Lilith ambling ahead of him. As they reached it's center, she spun around, spreading her arms.

“Welcome to my crib. How do you like it?”, she sang with a wide grin, watching the soldier shiver with gratification.

“Could use a little clean up”, he replied, shuffling his foot at a dried puddle of blood.

“Cleaning's in the spring, and it's never spring here”, Lilith refuted, already heading to another section of the platform where a bunch of storage units sat. “Make yourself at home, we'll spend a bit here if ya don't mind.”

He gave her a nod, and she proceeded to go through her storage. Besides from the calm rustling and her occasional curses it was quiet now. His breath wavered as a white cloud in front of him. He tore his eyes off her, letting his gaze wander over the surroundings. There wasn't a lot of personal stuff around the area; crumpled blankets and empty cans of food, as well as a stash of clothing, torn up and covered in blood. The soldier frowned, trying his best not to imagine how that must have looked on their owner. Eventually, the flickering screens at the corner of the platform caught his eye; surveillance cameras were displayed, observing the surroundings of the canyon. Roland remembered the fuzz well he had to start when he chose the location, working day and night to prepare the spot. His eyes slipped over a website in one of the screens.

“Left your profile open for anyone to see”, he remarked, staring at the site the screen was displaying; it was his page, several unread messages sent months ago from the siren yet waiting to be checked by him.

“What? Oh that. Anyone who runs into here won't make it out alive anyway, so I don't really care”, Lilith replied, voice muffled as she practically spoke into the box she was crouching over. “Ah, fucking finally!”

She pulled a bar of Eridium out of the box; a lilac, gleaming mass that had caught all of her attention now. Roland dragged himself away from the screens, eyeing the siren in her victorious pose. 

“If you'd excuse me for a minute”, she added, shooting him a quick look. The soldier blanched, averting his eyes.

“Yeah, sure. Feel free to, uh. Just do the thing.”

“Thanks.”, Lilith sang, straightening up into a standing position while Roland tried to concentrate on one of the pizza boxes that sat on one of the chests. It occurred to him now, that he actually never experienced her take that stuff, and was probably better off doing so; and though, he couldn't help but glance over to her eventually, eyes widening. 

The siren's posture had bent over, pressing the Eridium firmly between her hands, guiding it towards her chest. The piece was glowing now, an eerie gloom that reminded him of the faint shadow that looking into the sun left in one's sight. It seemed like the atmosphere around her began to shift, an aura descending around her, and before he could put his finger on a better analogy, it was over.

Lilith stretched out her arms, eyes closed, lips opened slightly. Roland watched her arms drop besides her, worry tugging at his subconsciousness. “Hey, are you- are you alright?”

A low chuckle escaped her throat that let a shiver run down the soldier's spine. “I'm all fucking right, Roland”, she breathed out. As she opened her eyes to grin at him, he could swear there was a lilac gleam. “Never felt better, actually.”

“That's-... good to hear.” He watched her run a hand through her hair, closing the box with a swift motion of her foot brushing the lid. Her pale skin glowed against the snow, one brighter as the other, blue marks pulsating in a faint shimmer, and despite her small frame she looked firm, stunning almost – though Roland refused to take those words into his vocabulary lately. His mind felt blank, and at the same time full of questions. He couldn't help but feel indisposition, watching the siren take the mysterious ancient alien ore used for opening a Vault, after all. “Do you want to grab some for later?” Speaking about it so effortlessly felt just wrong.

“What a question to ask, silly. I sure don't look like I could go without it for very long”, she sighed; Roland flinched at that. “I'll go get it later, I haven't shown you around after all.” She beckoned him over, shifting her weight onto one leg. The soldier hesitated for an instant, but walked over to her, having the siren's gaze resting on him with the slightest smirk as he approached her. When he caught up with her, her eyes slipped down his figure, eyeing him up with an arched eyebrow.

“After you.”, he said, gesturing at her. 

“Actually”, she said, words more of a sigh that wavered around them in the white clouds; the soldier threw her a puzzled look, “I already know where to start.”

Roland raised an eyebrow himself now, and as he tried to make out the meaning of her words, she had stepped close to him, one of her gloved hands brushing across his arm. “You're all cold still, if you would have said something I would have lent you a blanket...”

“Uhm.”, Roland said.

The siren was so close now that he could feel the warmth radiating off her on the exposed skin of his arms. She pushed a strand of her fire red hair out of the way, shooting him a quick glance as her fingers trailed their way up until the seam of his sleeve; the soldier stepped back out of reflex, her sudden approach taking him aback. “Is- something the matter?”, he asked lamely.

“As I said, I'm excellent, Roland.” At the sound of his name, she gave him another glance, closing the distance between them with a sway of her hip, bumping into his slightly. “I could show you how cozy this cave can actually be...”, she huffed out; her fingers were tracing his forearm now, a pale hand closing over the back of his own. With a swift motion, she tugged it towards her, placing his palm just above her hip. His hands brushed over smooth skin, and Roland flinched at her grasp, holding his breath. “Lilith-”  
“Come on, it's been months”, she coaxed, draping her free arm around his neck now, pressing her chest against his. Roland felt his pulse jump, her hip pressing towards him beneath his hands. 

“I- I don't think I know what you're talking about” Roland let out a nervous chuckle, knowing damn well he had understood her right; her hand hovering at the seam of his shirt now was his confirmation. Her odor was all around him now, red lips opened slightly as her warm breath escaped them, brushing against his neck. Her touches were pure fire, burning heat that spread in his veins, clouded his mind. The siren leaned in, her words not louder as a huff as she pressed against him, closer.

“And I feel fucking good-” 

Roland suppressed a groan as her hand slid between his thighs, curling around the bulge. 

“- just let me make you feel like that too...”

With a gasp of cold air, he caught grasp of his consciousness again. He pushed her away, fearing for an instant his hands being too rough on her frail figure, but the siren only stumble backwards a few steps, hew expression frozen in surprise, upset almost. The soldier fought for the words coming out of his throat.

“Lilith, I- we- we can't do this”, he stammered, pulse racing in his chest, hands lifted with palms facing the siren. He heard himself huff faintly, and now at the latest his mind was spinning.

Lilith stared at him blankly, as if she was trying to comprehend. When she opened her mouth, her voice sounded as throaty as his.   
“Fuck.”

His breath coming out in small, white huffs, the soldier stared at her. Her expression was blank, and she returned his look with widened eyes. The woman coaxing sweet things into his ear just moments ago was gone, and left was the siren from the past few days, now frowning deeply, running her hands through her hair again, letting out a drawn-out grunt.

Roland raised his hands in a soothing manner while heat still pulsated in his head, his joints, his stomach and especially downwards; though as a loud crash cut through the silence, echoing from the cave’s halls, his eyes flickered to the entrance, one hand already back at his belt where his revolver sat, embarassment shorty forgotten.

“I’d never thought I’d say this”, Lilith murmured, “but thank god for those bandits”

With that, she disappeared in a sphere of light, phasing out of existance, leaving a puzzled soldier and his leveled gun.

 

The group of intruders was quickly taken out. Roland landed a few clean headshots, keeping himself behind his cover most of the time; the last thing he needed right now was a chatty mercenary who blabbed Hyperion his whereabouts. However, his attention was occupied otherwise.

In fact, the siren had called him down to the canyon after her first encounter with Eridium. She had sounded so agitated over the Echo the soldier had his worry tear at his nerves all the way down here. Her story had been as alarming as it was impressive. But seeing it with his own eyes was something entirely different. Her phasewalk had grown more powerful than in her best days, vigor merely radiating off of her like some dark energy. Her method of putting out enemies was alot more messy than his, and her entry into the turmoil even less sneaky, but all the more very effective. Within a few minutes, the hall was calm again, and the click from reloading his gun was echoing from the tall walls. He pushed himself up out of his cover, only to find Lilith in the middle of the bloody puddles, patting some snow off her pants, turning around to him with swaying hips as she noticed him approach.

“And now you know what I put up with on a daily basis around here”, she commented with a shrug. “Lovely, huh?”

Her last words were merely a murmur. Averting her eyes, she was concentrating on a spot on her glove as his gaze rested on her. “I’ll just grab some of the stuff before, uh, more weird things happen.”

“Take your time.”, Roland replied as she headed for one of the further platforms without awaiting an answer with hurried pace.

The siren out of sight, he proceeded to drag a palm across his face, rubbing at his eyes with both of his hands, groaning lowly. He may have been prepared for awkward silence and small-talk, but he definitely hadn’t been prepared for that.  
After all, he was more than glad that his surroundings acted better than any cold shower now.

 

They only met again at late dusk back at their camp. The sun was almost gone, and with it the last ressources of light that acted as a natural heater. The air was algid, illustrating their breaths as thick, white clouds and sending shivers down the soldier’s spine as he made his way through the cave’s aisles. He saw the flame’s glint first, mirroring in the icy walls. Lilith’s head cocked up  from the can she was clutching as he stopped a few meters in front of the fire, and he could amost see her jaw clench as he gestured his wordless question.

“Sure, make yourself at home”, she said, beckoning him to sit down. “Warm yourself up, you look horrible.”

He mouthed a ‘thank you’, immediately reaching out, palms facing the warm flames. Without words, she pushed another can towards him, then returned to her own meal for the night. They ate in silence, only interrupted by the calm crackling of the fire and their calm huffs in the cold.

“I, uh, I’m sorry”, Lilith breathed after minutes, “for back there, today. I sometimes get like this when I, you know.”

Roland nodded slowly, shooting her a glance. She was staring at her hands in her lap, shoulders sunken. “Forget about it.”, he said calmly, cracking a shrug. The siren sighed, mouthing something that looked like 'Wish I could’, and lifted her head to lock eyes for the first time since he arrived.

“So, how long do you have to bear with me in this icy hell still?”

The soldier cleared his throat, suppressing a chuckle. “If that’s how you’re asking how the others are doing; last time I checked was at sunset, and they were just at Tina’s by then. They should go for the train in the early morning.” He watched her avert her eyes again, fiddling with the lid of her can between her fingers. “Are you worried about them not being able to make it?”, he said, lowering his voice.

“They seem like a tough bunch.”, the siren retorted. “But we thought we were, too.”

“We still are.”, Roland reckoned. “Always were. Some things are just above us all. But this time, they got back up.” Setting his empty can aside, he pushed himself on his feet, rubbing his hands against the cold breeze that caught him with absense of the fire. “That’s why I’ll bunk down now; in case anything happens, they couldn’t need a sleep deprived neurotic.”

Climbing into his sleeping bag, he watched the siren out of the corner of his eye who was folding her arms, letting her shoulders drop again. Facing the fire, she had his back turned to him, and his gaze slipped over the back of her neck, framed by fire red strands reflecting the flame’s gleam.

“Let’s just hope it’s different this time.”, she murmured. “Sleep tight, buttercup.”

Roland let out a silent sigh, propping himself up on his elbow. “You’ coming?”

 

He couldn’t quite lay his finger on the point where he fell asleep. Despite his soothing words earlier, his mind was occupied with thoughts swirling through his head, questions whose answers he searched for as desperately as he wanted to deny them. The calm flickering of the flames mirroring in the ice all around him, warmth beneath the covers and the cold that crept across him in those places the sleeping bag didn’t cover enough; sleep overcame him in a blur he only noticed when he jerked awake hours later.  
He pried open his eyes against the darkness. The fire had burned down to a faint gleam, enlightening the icy walls of the cave in a gloomy red. Roland blinked sleepily, trying to make out the reason for his awakening. He felt comfortably warm for once; those thermo-sleeping bags must have done their job after all. It was quiet except for the slight crackle of the fire – and calm breathing besides him.

He turned his head, only to feel his nose bump into soft hair, strands brushing his skin as red as the gleam all around him. He laid still, staring at the back of her head only inches away from him, until his heart made that jump, a sensation that sent a sting through his chest, a dull feeling at the pit of his stomach. A feeling he was all too familiar with by now.

Roland tensed his muscles, trying to slip away as gently as he could before turning– to no avail. Lilith shifted at his attempt, and only now the soldier’s sleep clouded mind comprehended why; her back was pressed against his chest, her frail figure curled up against his body, feet shoved between his calves, and with his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her close. Like they used to, back then, before all of this started. Roland felt his throat closing up, feeling the sirens shoulders rise and lower slightly in his embrace. A sign of affection that was now not more than an aggravating accident.

A shiver ran through her body beneath his hands, and eventually he was able to make out what woke him up. The siren was trembling, her breathing being interrupted by silent little gasps, and the soldier knew her well enough to know that wasn’t coming from the cold. He hesitated, chewing on his lip for a moment, then bending forward.

“Lil. Hey.”, he breathed calmly, brushing along her shoulder as he bent over her in order to get a glimpse of her face. Pale skin glowing in the fire’s dim glow, red strands in contrast covering her eyes, messy from turning and tossing in her sleep. Her brows were furrowed in a deep frown, jaw clenched. To be fair, an expression he had seen a lot of during the past days. The soldier propped himself up on his elbow, freeing their entwined fingers to let his hand hover over her shoulder, as if bracing himself for an impact. Gently shaking her shoulder, he raised his voice a little more this time, throaty from sleep. “Lil? ‘You alright?”

The siren flinched at the contact, pushing out a gasp, her eyes flickering open, and Roland drew back as if he burned his fingers.

“Yeah, I- just a nightmare. Did I woke you up?”, she mumbled, rubbing her eyes with both her hands. Roland stared at the siren in front of him that was now turning around slowly, rolling on her back, her shoulder bumping into his chest in the process. Her eyes lingered on the spot where they touched, a sleepy mind working, until she pulled a painful grimace.

“Fuuuck”, she breathed out, letting her head fall back onto the sleeping bag, burying her face in her hands.

Roland arched an eyebrow. “Language, madam.”

“Shut up. Why are you awake. You’re a heavy sleeper, you weren’t supposed to wake up from this.”,  she groaned, words coming out muffled under her palms.

“I’ve gotten used to sleep alone, I guess.” The soldier shrugged, throwing her a glance. In that red gleam one could almost mistake the color of her cheeks that peeked through her fingers for a blush.

“Shit, just- just forget I did this”, Lilith murmured, hands remaining on her face, her shoulder still resting against his chest, sending out a faint warmth where they connected. Neither of them made an attempt to move away, weary from sleep.  
“Noted.”, Roland replied with the hint of a smile tugging at his lips, earning a nudge in the ribs for that.

They lay in silence, Lilith staring at the icy ceiling, Roland at the gleaming ash.

“What about the nightmare?”, he asked after some moments, shooting her a puzzled look.

“What? Oh, that. Nothing, I tend to get those sometimes since that whole Eridium thing, so, yeah”, Lilith uttered, glassy eyes fixated on some point above her. “It’s nothing.”  
“You were never good at lying”, the soldier retorted, letting his gaze trail her expression.

“I really get those a lot. They’re just- … uncomfortable. I didn’t mean to…” She trailed off, gesturing between them, her eyes flickering to his almost shyly. Roland returned her look, shaking his head in a soothing manner, their eyes meeting for several seconds, words between them they just weren’t able to speak out.

There she was, his siren. Between all of her comments, glares and witty words, falling back into old patterns in a sleepless night. Just how much he wished to call her that once more, and how much he wished that feeling wouldn’t faint with every fight. It was there though, lingering deep within, against all logical discretion, like having his fingers burnt over and over again.

But doesn’t everybody like a little pain?

“Fuck that, scoot over”, Lilith groaned eventually, turning over to him until her forehead bumped into his chest softly. “Just for today.”

Roland could tell the trembling in his voice, not caused by nightmares this time. The red on her cheeks was glowing against her pale skin, her fingers clutching his shirt now. He let out a silent sigh, closing his eyes for a second.  
That woman would most definitely be the death of him.

He pushed an arm beneath her, the other one wrapping around her back, pulling her in until he felt her jawline brush the nape of his neck. She nuzzled into his embrace, pressing her body against his as if she was made for it.  
“Just for today.”, he echoed, running his fingers through her hair slowly.

He felt her muscles relax under his hands, lips ghosting lazy pecks over the exposed skin at his neck. Roland felt his eyes flutter shut, letting a breath out that resembled merely a deep voiceless sigh. He pulled her close, playing with one of the strands at the back of her neck, coaxing those little sighs out of her.

Nose nuzzling against the soft spot beneath her ear, he pressed a kiss at the corner of her lips, feeling her melt into the touch. He blamed the warmth all around him clouding his mind, or the sleepiness gnawing on his last bit of common sense. Maybe it was the Eridium. Maybe the cold. As exhaustion slowly dragged his mind out of consciousness, pale skin pressing against his, soft lips searching for his own, he didn’t really blame anyone at all.


End file.
